Starting to think I need an eyepatch. This whole “having only one eye to see with” thing is kinda shitty. I’m in pain. I’m dizzy. I feel like a vampire because sunlight MAKES ME HISS IN AGONY. Someone give me a new eye. Thanks. #me #self #pain #pirate #eyes

Starting to think I need an eyepatch. This whole “having only one eye to see with” thing is kinda shitty. I’m in pain. I’m dizzy. I feel like a vampire because sunlight MAKES ME HISS IN AGONY. Someone give me a new eye. Thanks. #me #self #pain #pirate #eyes

tagged → #me #self #pain #pirate #eyes
Also the most modest. #me #self #snapchat #IHavePostedTooMuchBullshitOnInstagramToday

Also the most modest. #me #self #snapchat #IHavePostedTooMuchBullshitOnInstagramToday

@robinussher is bae. #stereotypicalwhitegirlpost #pumpkindamnspice

@robinussher is bae. #stereotypicalwhitegirlpost #pumpkindamnspice

Y’all see that collarboner? Shit. Jordan’s precious, though. #me #self #friends #collarboners #bartimes #farttimes

Y’all see that collarboner? Shit. Jordan’s precious, though. #me #self #friends #collarboners #bartimes #farttimes

Ask for polished brows, bitch face & a screwy eye at the beauty studio~* #me #self #werk

Ask for polished brows, bitch face & a screwy eye at the beauty studio~* #me #self #werk

tagged → #me #werk #self

I don’t think Ludwig will ever not be obsessed with sinks. #cat #catsofinstagram #ludwig #ludwigfart

Apparently this is what happens when you rip your contact lens out of your eye in your sleep. Metal. #me #self #eyes #dizzyasfuck

Apparently this is what happens when you rip your contact lens out of your eye in your sleep. Metal. #me #self #eyes #dizzyasfuck

tagged → #me #self #dizzyasfuck #eyes
This bish likes to call me at 4:30 in the morning repeatedly & leave messages telling me I’m a dildo. #me #self #friends #bish #jessfarted

This bish likes to call me at 4:30 in the morning repeatedly & leave messages telling me I’m a dildo. #me #self #friends #bish #jessfarted

tagged → #me #jessfarted #self #friends #bish
When I try to look like a badass, I just look like I’m farting. #me #self #greenlips #kermitfart

When I try to look like a badass, I just look like I’m farting. #me #self #greenlips #kermitfart

tagged → #me #self #greenlips #kermitfart

I. Love. Cassie. #wofmuashenanigans

tagged → #wofmuashenanigans